


The forsaken road

by BrynTheBeatnik



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Marriage Proposal, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 14:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrynTheBeatnik/pseuds/BrynTheBeatnik
Summary: You have been gone for a year now, even though Finn and you have been friend since ever. Now he is trying to convince you to come back to Birmingham.
Relationships: Finn Shelby/Reader, Finn Shelby/You
Kudos: 4





	The forsaken road

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: 
> 
> Finn is a little sassy, but this is supposed to be a close friend and usually nobody is shy around close friends. Maybe he got the usual Shelby sass.   
>  This was super funny to write and I hope I did the request right. This thing whole x reader thing is still new to me.   
>  The reader is female, I couldn’t work around that. I’m sorry. There are only two times or so, when the reader is referred to as “she.”   
>  Requests are still open~ If you want to request something or want to be added to my tag list, just write me!   
>  John is dead in this one q.q   
>  And the reader is stubborn as fuck
> 
> Word count: 4260 
> 
> Warnings: major character death, swearing

It was the first time Finn was nervous behind the steering wheel. Even when he started driving, he felt completely comfortable with it. Cars just were his thing and he wasn’t the only one to notice. Tommy himself chose Finn to be his driver more than once and Finn was a good driver. He didn’t panic nor did he take unnecessary risks. 

But this time it was different. He was alone in the car, nobody by his side and his destination was on the countryside. Far away from his usual ways. His hands clung around the leather wheel. The grip so tight, his knuckles shined white. Nevertheless, this was important and he had worries, if he would find the small cottage in the middle of nowhere. Polly drew the way on his map, so he wouldn’t get lost, but he still feared, what would happen, if it was getting dark and he was still driving. 

With all his might he tried to push his insecurities away. These wouldn’t help him find his way through the unknown. And it was not like he had another choice. You didn’t seem to return to Birmingham by yourself, so he needed to get you back. Actually, he didn’t understand why you left in the first place. You had a job and friends, who cared about you and yet you left in the middle of the night, without even saying goodbye. You should have come at least to him, your best friend. 

When Isiah told him, he refused to believe it. Maybe it was just a bad joke. You wouldn’t run off without a word… and yet you did. The realization knocked him down. Finn couldn’t imagine his life without you and now he had to. Even worse, he didn’t know why. He thought, he meant as much to you as you did to him. Apparently this wasn’t the case. You left him heartbroken and he would never say that out loud, but he cried. 

And yet, he wasn’t over you. Somehow he just couldn’t forget you. The way you smiled, when he cracked a joke or when a new pint of beer arrived at the table. He missed the smell of your hair, when you leaned against his shoulder late at night. Or that one time you held hands under the table at the Garrison. You swore Bonnie saw the innocent act, but Finn doubted it. You had some much fun together and now everything was gone with the wind. 

That was the reason, why he took the forsaken road. If he couldn’t bring you back, he needed at least an explanation. Otherwise he would never have a peaceful sleep again. He had prepared everything he would say. There were a couple of things on his mind and he needed to say them. Hopefully you would listen. Finn thought about the whole scenario over and over again. And even when you would be as stubborn as ever, he had one last option. 

His heart jumped, when he noticed the small cottage down the road. This had to be it. The house of your aunt and her husband. Now it was just a few meters ahead of him and he was getting even more nervous. The hands were all sweaty and his knees started to shake as he pulled into the driveway. 

The motor stopped and everything was dead silent for a while. Finn was too scared to move and froze right on the driver’s seat. Inside of him there was a voice yelling at him to get out of the fucking car and ask you, why you had to break his heart. But he couldn’t, not until he heard steps on the gravel path that went around the house. Wary like a watch-dog he turned his head to see who was coming. 

Until now he was worried, that he might have the wrong address… or you wouldn’t be there anymore… or something worse. Now he had his proof. You stood just not far away from him and yet it felt like you were miles away. Finn stumbled out of the car and ran to you, before you could hide in the house. 

“Hey”, you managed to say, while you couldn’t believe your own eyes. After all this time you spend dreaming about him, he was here. Right in front of you. Suddenly you had a lump in your throat and your heart was racing. This reunion seemed so surreal and you doubted you would like how this would turn out. You knew that he wasn’t pleased with the way things ended. It was visible in his face. His cheeks were so red, his freckles weren’t even visible. 

And even though he seemed so angry, all you wanted right now was to pull him in for a long hug. Of course, you missed him. He was your best friend and you had spent so many great nights together with the others at the Garrison. But still you couldn’t move and prepared for the worst. 

“Hey!” he yelled: “Fucking finally.” 

Nobody moved, but you felt the tension. You knew you should say something, anything, but there were no words to explain your inner tumult. 

Finn signed and added: “You should have said this months ago.”

Slowly you nodded. Unable to speak, it was the least you could do. And he was right though. You should have had that conversation sooner, but you feared it so much, that you just packed your things and went. 

Then you heard something, you certainly didn’t expect. “I missed you.” 

You hadn’t comprehended this sentence and suddenly you felt his arms around you. 

He whispered in your ear: “Every fucking day, Y/N.” 

It was the long hug you needed and it gave you the idea, that maybe and just maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought. With croaked voice you mumbled: “I missed you too.”

But you were wrong. Things were bad and four soft spoken words couldn’t obliterate one year in misery. He pulled away and the look on his face was quite surprised as he asked: “Then why you left?” 

Your mouth was dry as you tried to prepare some kind of an answer, certainly not a good one. It felt like your lips were glued together and even when you tried to open it, it wouldn’t work. 

His hands caressed your cheeks. “What was the reason? Why did you leave me?” 

“I was…”, you begun to say, but paused to take a deep breath: “I was scared.” 

“Of me?” he asked with concern in his eyes. 

You shook your head. “No… of course not.” 

Right now you felt more feelings in the glimpse of this moment than ever in your life. It was like a rollercoaster. Everything went up and down. Yes, you were happy, he got all the way here, just to see you again, but you still feared this conversation. Running away was stupid, you knew, there was just no other option to get out of this mess. 

Your body shivered as you felt his warm breath on your chest. “What were you scared of?” 

How could you answer it? There was no easy way to say it. 

“Of Tommy?” You shook your head, while tears filled your eyes. “Arthur?” 

“No”, you whispered: “Don’t be silly. Nobody from your family was the problem.” 

His frustration reached a peak. He got even louder as he shouted: “Then tell me who!” 

You winced, because he frightened you. Even though he was the sweetest and most innocent of the four Shelby brothers, Finn still got the temper. And this time you really deserved it. 

“Nobody”, you cried: “I was just scared.” 

Finn took another step back. His hands left your cheeks gently, but were clenched into fists just seconds after. “Of what?” he repeated once again. 

This time you tried to explain: “I don’t know. I thought something bad would happen. I could feel it coming.” There wasn’t a clear sign, when you knew you couldn’t be there anymore. This feeling grew inside of you for a long time. While being friends with the Shelbys you have witnessed violence, drug abuse, gang fights and other things, you weren’t ready for. 

Things that changed you until you couldn’t sleep anymore and you couldn’t breathe anymore. That was the reason why you left. But of course, Finn didn’t seem to understand it. The tiny wheels in his head kept turning, but he still looked clueless. 

“Why?” he whispered with a face like he seemed to choke on his own words. 

You had to reach out for him, pulled him into a hug and patted his back. “I was scared of losing you”, you said. It didn’t even sound like your voice, not stubborn and strong as always but very weak and broken. 

He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you until you couldn’t breathe. “But why then… I had to lose you?” 

Just when you were about to answer, he added: “I mean… this year without you was horrible. All the sudden you were gone and you took all the colors with you. Everything seemed so bleak. Nobody could cheer me up. I couldn’t… do anything without you. I was useless after you left… and you didn’t even tell me yourself. Isaiah noticed, you weren’t at home and then I asked Polly and she confirmed it. You know, I thought it was all my fault… because what happened the night before.” 

That night. Yes, you did remember that. Actually you planned to tell him on that fateful night, that you were leaving, but after he kissed you and you kissed him, you couldn’t bring yourself to confess. You bit your lip. 

“It wasn’t your fault”, you mumbled. Your fingers were running through his hair so careful, as if he would break, if the pressure was slightly higher. “It was mine. The night was great, but I couldn’t be in Birmingham at that time.” 

He lifted his head to look you in the eyes. There were so many questions in his mind. You could see it. 

“After John’s death I knew, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you the same way. Shot multiple times. My feelings for you were to strong. I had loved you and your end would have been mine as well. Every time, we met at the Garrison, I feared some day you wouldn’t show up, because you were lying dead somewhere. I’m not the type of person who would seek revenge but more the type of person who would crumble to pieces”, you professed. 

But this wasn’t even the end of the story. Finn was keen to say something. You shushed him. “I wasn’t done yet.” 

“With the time I had realized this wasn’t the life I wanted. I wasn’t ready for all this violence and I still think it would ruin me. When I still did snow, it was okay. I could tolerate the fact that everything we had was bought by blood. But when I stopped doing drugs, I felt sick every time I saw what your brothers did to defend their power.” 

Slowly you let him go. Not as sudden as the last time. He forced you to explain it and you did as he wished, but you knew, this wouldn’t make better. 

You just weren’t the right person for him, even though you loved him. Others might have stayed, but it was too much for you. 

Now the both of you were crying. When he realized, that things hadn’t changed, he felt worse than before. “You had loved me?” he asked like he couldn’t believe his own voice. 

“Actually… I still do”, you confessed: “Not a single day has passed, I didn’t think about you.” 

Finn stared at you. “Why didn’t say something sooner?” The red vanished from his face and it left him even paler than before. 

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought you wouldn’t feel the same way.” 

“But I do!” he protested: “I always have.” 

It was what you wanted to hear, even though now it was too late. It didn’t matter anymore. You decided to stay here. Maybe the life in the small cottage was boring, but at least it was peaceful. From morning till dawn you spend your time in the garden or in the kitchen and nothing bad ever happened, unlike all that drama in Small Heath. 

You glared at the cloudless sky. It was a warm, yet windy day, just like it was one year ago, when the husband of your aunt picked you up at a station nearby. Back then you thought you would never see him again. Now he was standing here and declared his love for you. Should this feel like a happy end? 

“Maybe… it’s too late”, you murmured. The time for sweeping love declarations was months ago. Finally you wiped the wetness from your cheeks. 

At first Finn just gazed in abstraction, then he frowned. “What?” 

“Maybe it’s time for you to leave. You don’t want to get lost in the dark.” Yes, you pushed him away, but it has been hard enough for you to forget him. His family still had shady business and they would always have enemies. Neither could Finn escape them nor you, if you were his girlfriend. 

“Fuck no.”

Now you were baffled by his words. With an intense glare you stared at him. This was very unlikely for him, which made you think, he might have changed while you were gone. 

“Stop making decision for me. Everybody else already does this. I won’t leave until we had a proper talk.”

Obviously, you were lost in translation. Didn’t you just have that talk, did you? “Tell me what you want to know”, you demanded, while you crossed your arms in front of your chest. 

Finn took another step towards you. “Just tell me why we should not be together. I mean, I love you and you love me and yet you keep pushing me away.” He held out his hand for you to grab it. You didn’t. 

“Love isn’t everything Finn”, you argued: “I want safety.” 

Just when you were about to explain this further the front door opened behind Finn. Your aunt stepped out of the house. “Dinner is ready, Y/N.”

“I’m coming”, you said as you were on your way to the dinner table. The young Shelby followed you with his eyes. This talk had come to an end, at least in your opinion, but Finn didn’t seem to agree with you. 

He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze, while he begged you silently to stay. 

“I heard you two talking”, your aunt tossed in: “You were pretty loud, dear.” 

Your cheeks were getting hot. This was embarrassing. Since you left Birmingham, you had found a new home here in the middle of nowhere. Your aunt was sweet and caring. She never had children and loved the idea of getting a little help around the house. Now she had heard why you had fled. 

And again you had no good apology. But this time you didn’t even have to say something. Your aunt did. “Now come inside. It’s getting cold and your boyfriend probably wants to eat something after the long drive.” 

You babbled some incoherent words, while Finn started smiling like an angel. “Thank you. I sure would love to have dinner with you, Mrs.” he nodded. 

Since you were still completely overwhelmed with this whole situation, Finn guided you to the entrance. When you realized, he was about to enter the house, you started moving yourself and picked up the pace. 

Inside you noticed the fourth plate on the dinner table. Your aunt had already planned to invite him in. What a back-stabbing bitch. 

You glared at her with passionate hate. Yeah, okay, you loved Finn, but this still didn’t mean you could have a life with him, a known gangster. However your aunt disrupted your plans to forget about him. Now he thought he still could turn things around, which wasn’t possible. 

“You can sit here, sweetie”, she said and pointed at a chair. Finn followed her order and took place. 

This damn smile wouldn’t leave his darn beautiful face. With clenching fists you sat down right in front of him. “After this… you’re leaving”, you threatened him. 

Pointless, but you tried. Of course, you didn’t know that Finn thought you were the cutest, when you tried to intimidate someone. 

“We’ll see about that”, he grinned and then turned to your aunt: “This house is beautiful…. But it was very hard to find.” 

Your aunt giggled and put a steaming pot in the middle of the table. Inside of it was a delicious stew and the smell filled the room. “Well, it’s very quiet here and the sea is nearby. Maybe Y/N can show you the beach. You probably know, how stubborn she can be.” 

Finn burst out in laughter and agreed: “Yes, she can be quite a pain in the ass, but she is still my best friend. Everybody back home missed her so much. I had hoped to bring her back for a couple of days… She said no.” 

“Wait…”, you interrupted him: “Who said that?” 

“What?” 

“That they missed me?” 

Finn was surprised for the glimpse of a second, and then he laughed. “Everybody! Isiah said it a couple of times. Bonnie too! Arthur said he missed hearing you singing drunk in the Garrison. And Esme said the fair isn’t half as funny without you.” 

Your mouth formed a silent “Oh” like you just realized that you had left everybody behind and not just Finn. 

He made a wiggly movement with his hands. “You probably won’t believe me but… even Michael said something is different since you left.” 

You gave him a skeptic stare and just shook your head. “No fucking way.” Not even in a thousand years Michael would say something like that and not about you from all people. He was a jerk who would always make snarky side comments about you and you would do the same about him. It wasn’t friendship- not even close, even though you had the same group of friends. 

“Yes, of course he did. Everybody is sad that you left without saying goodbye”, he responded and hiked his shoulders. 

Slowly, your head turned towards your empty plate. Maybe leaving like this was kinda selfish. 

Your aunt was filling the bowls with stew, when her husband arrived though the backdoor. His face was stained with dirt, but his eyes widened as he noticed Finn. “Who is that?” he growled and sat down at the table. 

“Y/N’s boyfriend. He came all the way from the city to see her again.” Apparently your aunt thought she was being funny. 

Her husband didn’t seem to be happy with that answer either. He grunted and then began to eat his dinner in silence. 

Finn’s cheeks were red once again, but this time it wasn’t anger. He was nervous. “Nice to meet you, Mr. I’m Finn Shelby.” You heard it in his voice. 

Your uncle nodded and didn’t stop shoveling stew in his mouth for one second. He wasn’t a man of many words. More like the silent type of guy. You liked it. At least he wasn’t as noisy as your aunt. 

The dinner was exhausting. Your aunt kept asking Finn all types of questions and he was hesitant to answer most of them. Once or twice you helped him out. He was still your friend and seeing him in discomfort made you feel the same. 

And the discomfort didn’t end with the dinner. “Finn, dear, it’s already dark outside. Do you still want to go back today? We still have a guestroom. You can stay there, if you want to? You two still have so much to talk about.” The suggestion of your aunt may seem nice, but it was meant to torture you. 

“Oh, that’s so nice”, he said: “Thank you. I just have to get some things of mine from the car.” 

Finally he stood up. You followed him back to his car. Now you had at least the opportunity to talk him out of this stupid idea. He shouldn’t be here and both of you knew it. Tommy would be furious with him, if he left for so long.

“You can’t stay”, you decided. 

With a wide grin on his face he replied: “Oh, sure I can. Your aunt said it… and since you’re not my girlfriend… you can’t make decision for me.” He poked your nose and smiled. 

Then he turned around to his car and opened trunk. It was full of all kinds of stuff. Why did he need a dress? And it wasn’t even his color!

You took a deep breath before pointing out the obvious: “What the fuck is this?”

“Gifts”, Finn answered: “When I said, I would be visiting you everybody gave me something for you.” 

Now you had to take a closer look of the ragbag of things inside of the trunk. The Shelby coughed slightly and explained: “The dress is from Ada and the jewelry box is from Isaiah… but don’t worry, his sister chose it. Tommy gave you a bottle of gin. He started making some, while you were gone. Actually… I took the bottle, but it doesn’t matter. Tommy bribes everybody to try his gin. It’s the family recipe. And Bonnie got you a scarf. Well… it’s all kind of stuff.” 

“I can’t accept that.” It was too much and too expensive. You were never part of the family, just Finn’s little friend. 

Finn clucked his tongue. “Yes, you can.” Then he started to put some gifts in your arms. 

“Let’s get this stuff inside and then go to the beach your aunt mentioned.” 

You were ready to argue and yet you had nothing left to say. “Why are you so stubborn all the sudden?” you asked. 

He took the rest and closed the trunk again, before responding: “Because usually you’re the bone head of us, but this time I have something to say and I’m not leaving until you heard it”

“Trust me just once. This is important”, he added with stern eyes and stroked your cheek with his finger. 

When he looked at you like that, something inside you melted and you got weak in your knees. There was something undeniably sexy about him. Your head felt so hot when you squeaked: “Fine.” 

Then you walked together with him back to the house and put the things in your room. Finn was prying, but you didn’t stay long enough for him to snoop around.

After you were done, you pulled him out of your room again. “You were never interested in my stuff. Why now?” 

“Well, I wanted to know which things you kept and which things you had thrown away”, he explained as the both of you walked out of the house. 

You crossed your arms before your chest and argued: “My other stuff is in my old room in Birmingham… but it’s not like I had so much to take with me.” 

Finn was just about to walk in the wrong direction, so you took his hand and pulled him back. “It’s this way to the beach.” 

“Okay, take the lead, lady”, he laughed: “But you still wear the necklace I got you.” 

Immediately, your hand searched the pendant. It was nothing expensive, however it was very important to you, because Finn gave it to you on your birthday. “Well, I said I would never take it off.” 

“Good”, he nodded and glanced at the sky with all his stars. He was more than a head taller than you, so you couldn’t see how happy your words made him. 

Then you walked in silence to the beach. It was even windier here and you forgot to take your jacket, because you just wanted to get over with this and then go back to your boring life. 

Finn noticed your shivering and put his coat on your shoulders, which made you smile. It has been a while since you felt like that. Your tummy rumbled in excitement. 

“I still have one last gift for you”, he whispered. 

You looked up and down, but you didn’t find it. “Where?” 

His handy were jittery, when he said: “Promise me you think about it at least for one second, before saying no.” 

“Of course”, you answered and took his hand so he wouldn’t be distracted. Your fingers intertwined with his and you smiled again. “C’mon, Finny, what is it you want to talk about?” 

Slowly he went down on one knee. By that time you knew what he was going to say, but you still couldn’t believe it. He pulled out a small box and presented you a very beautiful ring, before saying: “Marry me.” 

Your head was empty. All you could do was staring at him. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. If you agree to be my wife, you won’t have to worry about your safety anymore. Then you’re part of the family and everybody would protect you. And I need you in my life. This year- without you- was the worst in my life. After losing my brother and almost my cousin I lost you too. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and I missed you more than you could imagine. Please come back with me… or at least think about it, before you’re being stubborn again.”


End file.
